Monday, February 26, 2007

Fil, Sil, and Pasil

This Saturday, Deidra received a call on her cell phone. It was her little sister inviting me to join them for the Utah Jazz game that night in Salt Lake. Yeah, that's right, only I got invited to the game. (I believe Tameka's response to Deidra questioning whether she could go too was, "NO! You're not invited! Does your husband want to go to the game?!") But don't worry - I don't think Deidra minded. She got to go shopping with her mom while I was at the game.

So Fil (Father-in-law) Warren, Sil (Sister-in-law) Tameka, and Pasil (Practically-a-sister-in-law) Chelsey, and I attended the Utah Jazz game versus the Boston Celtics (whom they beat handily). We were in the front row of the second tier, and Tameka was awe-struck by the lights on the electronic advertising board over the railing in front of us. I'm just glad she didn't fall over the edge while she was hanging over the railing to watch them. And I think Tameka and Chelsey found new Italian gymnasty boyfriends wearing skin-tight, flesh-colored unitards with bright-colored, flailing-ribbon, and faces painted white. Watch out Braden! Too bad Warren had one foot in the grave with the whooping-black-lung-bird-flu-plague disease, or he might have enjoyed the game a little bit more.

Thanks for a fun time.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Awarding entertainment or liberalism?

Between Al Gore's mock presidential announcement, Happy Feet's win as best animated feautre (a movie that lost all semblance of entertainment through its preachy message on how the humans are killing of the animals), listening to Melissa Etheridge sing her song from "An Inconvenient Truth," and rolling my eyes on the self-satisfying spiel on how green Hollywood is, I started wondering if I was watching the Democratic National Convention, a Greenpeace demonstration, or if it was in fact the Oscars. (And that was only after watching about fifteen minutes.) Come on Hollywood, get off your high horse! How green do you think the Oscars really can be? We're talking about Hollywood here. These are the same actors that wear clothes once before throwing them out and drive Hummers, limos, and SUVS, the directors and producers who blow up entire buildings just to get the right shot, and did you see all the bling bling going on at the awards show? Please tell me that none of those diamonds are "Blood Diamonds." Buying organic tofu and using recycled paper for your scripts doesn't quite balance out the waste of having three empty mansions, twelve different vehicles, and fifty pairs of high heels. Nice try, but you're not fooling anybody. Though I guess it's your business to act like you're making a difference, so I can't blame you for trying.

P.S. Of course "An Inconvenient Truth" won for best documentary and Melissa Etheridge's song from the movie also won. What a surprise!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

How to successfully annoy your waitress at the Olive Garden

The secret is to be as frugal as possible on a busy Friday night where every moment you are at the table, the waitress knows she's missing out on the big spenders that could be in your place. Just follow these simple steps like we did last night:
1. When she asks what you would like to drink, answer "Just water will be fine."
2. Split an entree with your wife.
3. Load up on free salad and breadsticks before receiving your entree.
4. Ask for more salad and breadsticks after eating your entree.
5. Ask for a box for the unfinished potion of your split entree.
6. Don't get anything for dessert. (In our case, the server was so annoyed by that point that she didn't even ask us if we wanted dessert. She just brought us our check and clear our plates without saying much of anything or even really looking at us, hoping to get us out of there as quickly as she could.)

Yeah, our waitress was getting visibly P.O.ed last night throughout the ordeal, but we did order an appetizer and tip her quite well, so she's really got nothing to complain about. I mean, when you work at a restaurant where they offer free salad and breadsticks and the entree portions are huge, what do you expect? (Especially in cheap Mormon country.)

The girl in the picture is not our waitress. Our waitress wasn't very good at serving us. She only came to our table a few times, and was visibly annoyed with any request we made.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Monkeying with History

After our snowshoeing adventure on Monday, I was flipping through channels on the TV when I came across the old-school version of Planet of the Apes. This would be pretty normal if it was on TBS or AMC or something like that, but it was being shown on the History Channel. Yeah, you read that right - the HISTORY channel. Doesn't that seem a little odd to anyone else?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

White and Nerdy

Dang, I'm smart . . . Bestsariah's got nothin' on me!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Birthday, Nelly!

I don't know if you would really consider it a birthday, per se - but Nelly is sitting outside my office right now with exactly 50,000 miles. She's been a great car ever since I bought her ... except for her reluctance to start whenever she has sat at the in-laws' house for a couple of days. Here's to 50,000 more miles!!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I didn't know scheduling Home Teaching was such an ordeal

Conversation I just listened to over the phone when calling to set up visiting teaching:

Me: Hi, this is your home teacher. I was wondering when would be a good time to come home teaching this month.

Mrs. X (to husband): Honey, when are we available for home teaching this week?

Mr. X (to wife): Um ... I don't know. Probably Wednesday or Thursday would be best.

Mrs. X (to husband - visibly annoyed): Well, I would say Wednesday is out ... since that's Valentine's Day.

Mr. X (to wife - sheepishly): Oh yeah. I forgot.

Mrs. X (to husband): How about Tuesday?

Mr. X (to wife): That sounds good. What time?

Mrs. X (to husband): Well, do you want to have dinner before they come visit or wait until after?

Mr. X (to wife): Well, what are we having for dinner?

Mrs. X (to husband - again annoyed): I don't know!

Mr. X (to wife): Oh wait, I have something on Tuesday. I can't do that day. How about Thursday at 8?

Mrs. X (to me): How does Thursday at 8 sound?

Me: Sounds good. We'll see you then.

Maybe it was a "had-to-be-there" but I was struggling not to laugh out loud over the phone.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I don't wanna grow up . . .

Every time the new year comes around and brings hope for a brighter future, the bills come in and suffocate that hope. :) Last year, right after the New Year, we had to get a set of new tires for our car - an expense that we had to have faith that we would even be able to pay (though we did get free beef from Les Schwab tires for our troubles). This year, Deidra and I were talking about all the ideas we had for our tax returns when they arrive. And then the bills came rolling in: new rear brakes for the car, registration/safety inspection fees, paying for books and classes for the both of us, getting my keyboard repaired, learning that I am going to have to get my wisdom teeth out, and Deidra's visit to the ER in December that we found out wasn't going to be paid for by insurance. Now I just hope we break even.

I don't like this whole being grown-up and responsible thing. It's highly overrated.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

What day is it today? . . .

I wouldn't know, because I don't have a calendar.

My phone conversation with "the wife" this morning:

Me: Will you please bring that classic car calendar that I got from Wilson Motors to my office when you come to pick me up?

The Wife: Um . . . no.

Me: Why not?

The Wife: Because it went out in the recycling a few weeks ago.

Me: What?!? Why did you do that?

The Wife: Because you weren't using it and it was just sitting around.

Me: I was planning on bringing to work because the calendar I have hanging up here ended with January.

The Wife: Well, I'm sorry, but it was bugging me.

So, moral of the story is - Deidra threw away my calendar without even asking and she doesn't see anything wrong with that. Am I wrong in being a little bit bugged? I welcome your comments (and I dare say that Deidra will be first to respond with her side of the story :-) ).